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http://archives.rhodes.edu/files/original/cdff95bd788106fc470c46fd95cfb41f.pdf
74ce6647810e2ebd91dc5e089cd60c34
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Whar-'s
your
excuse?
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cl i ppcrs. "
"Who' s count int! !he gi1 ens. M 1. l 'li11-.;i '.1 111111µ
reel uses or loriJ
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"You bore me. l nccc.J anc ii lier 1uli...
'Tic a/really applied lor ilH· pc;..,,,,<1n .·
"You m;11· list Ill<.' <1-; a rclcrcncc ...
"But I am )Our c111plo~cr. '·
ch
"Oh.''
"Don' l mcnlio11 i l. .,
"Form s i m pl) is."
" I kno\\'"
"No, bu! l'll lcl )Ou co11ii!llH' lo tlrinl-. i/Ju1
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II
OD
�Garlic Is Good.
The Rat .' s Ass™ is a trump thumpin
bump grumpin mid-evil somethin fierce
comin down your chimney with a
smile and a groove; all opinions
expressed all solely their author's
and aL·e not affiliated with Rhodes 0 •
Have a day. It's all yours.
A Dialogue.
By Jay Witherfunkengruven
Say Yes
ii 1 L 1tu
e
di
1cl riff18S ot
living maniac. Beat rne.
<-1
( .i 111:,,i illt1 i1vi11g ant1-Gocl.
It really does exist-I swear
it
.I
i i 11 l10~ pnninq to l t:el a bit antsy about the recent death
d0vt: lof.)1 i-1ent.
Wiiai should I do " I believe feeling-a-groove is what is
i1 ·1 orde( i he rJeatli development is only a secondary
l: onnection vvilh tht: beyond--Not important--Mortal
i1u111qs'i Ci10atic unn-1oralistic universe? Could it really
bt-1'? A1 8 we really iliat vulnerable? Fuck Yeah... Feel the
y1uuvt: ---lls all there , everytl1ing you ever desired.
·.
-!:!
;:s
~
':!
"'
2
........
-s::
,.,
, '
i lie previous was all part of one section of existence.
I hurtl 's n1orn 10 be had . More to feel·-· There is just
more l1emq to l)e done-- That 's All. Just being. That is
all Iiial 1s Hnporiant. Be Be Be Be !
BE~
• t. 1
i-'1
!
1
I \'
-~
2
~
Now shake that thang.
'
'
•
"Okay.
You asked for it.
On the way down
here, I walked backwards so that I could see
where, just a few seconds before, I thought I was
going to be."
"You must quit saying things like that, or
your life will get strange.
Plus, I'll take away
your festive beer huggie and start callin g you
'spooge muffin. '"
"That's not fair. You look much more like a
spooge muffin than I do, and my beer huggie i s not
only 'festive,' but downright ROWDY . . . sucka."
"Hm. Your hair is on fir e."
"Hey!
Whoa! !
How'd you do that?
Hair on
fire sucks."
"I'm a: creature from a higher plane posing
as a human.
I possess abilities to distort,
create, manipulate, and pulverize any bit of that
tiny portion of the uni verse you call 'rea lity'
with the merest evil thought inflection.
That
makes you my bitch."
"I saw you put that lighter back in your
pocket, ass-hole. You're nothing but a big stinky
weener-ma . . . WHOA!! I feel different . . . You
changed me into a Buddhist monk!
Ah, the h armony
of it all!
Hold on.
You can't just show me the
way like that I
Part of the destination is the
journey itself .
. What the hell am I saying?
I'm a presbyterian!!
Would you please just leave
me alone, crazy dialogue partner?"
"Not quite yet."
"AH ! AH ! AH !
Oh, dear heavens and hot-dog
buns!!
Did YOU just make my penis twelve feet
long and extend my colon twelve feet beyond the
lip of my sphincter?
This is all getting r eally
weird."
"NOW you are equipped for LOVIN FROM AN
ALIEN.
Stand on your head.
The blood that will
rush to your head provides good lubrication. "
"No, man, I quit.
This shit has gotten too
weird.
Really, man.
No, don't DO that.
Wait,
a re you humming the theme song to MacGyver? What
the hell! ! !
It's too weird.
Where's my swiss
army
knife?
IT'S
TOO
DAMN
WEIRD!!!!!!
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
�J. VPhosphatidylserine
~
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\~ ~J_
.
Hard Knocks
0
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End
hy
stay j1niall
Can:cnirig
headlong,
al/ of.c very lhino
cI
S_l<X >iJ ng bencathe me
like fdm on a pn~cclor
out ol control.
I ain
hurtling through space,
\\'here
nothing is,
I am flowing,
gro\\'i no
.
b'
going
going
and ha Its/ am
slopping i_ lo a dreamed trance
n
01 hypnol!c wakefulness,
a snull ed candle
and nuclear \veapon explodin
each second passing.
g
Pause.
Inhale.
Begin .
.J
PAGE
~
~
E
nergy F
rom
TheFar&st
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�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Type
The nature or genre of the resource
Newspaper
Title
A name given to the resource
The Rat's Ass, February 16, 1996, Volume 04, Issue 20
Subject
The topic of the resource
Newspapers, Publications, Satires, Zines, 1996 Winter
Description
An account of the resource
This issue of The Rat's ass dates from February 16, 1996. This issue of The Rat's Ass is called the "Special Domination Episode." On the front page Xaft Minor gives us not a dialogue scene, but something close to it. Jhay Witherspoon gives an actual dialogue. On the last page Stay Joviall how the end may begin.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Xaft Minor, Jhay Witherspoon, Stay Joviall
Source
A related resource from which the described resource is derived
Dlynx
Publisher
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Memphis, Tenn. : Rhodes College Archives and Special Collections
Rights
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Rhodes College owns the rights to the archival digital objects in this collection. Objects are made available for educational use only and may not be used for any non-educational or commercial purpose. Approved educational uses include private research and scholarship, teaching, and student projects. For additional information please contact archives@rhodes.edu. Fees may apply.
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PDF
The Rat's Ass