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Word Usage
by: chris brown
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What is the proper usage of a
word, or a string of words?
Some believe that words have
a proper time and place for
use. Others believe that words
can be used for any purpose
and that any limit on word
usage is only a masked
attempt of domination.
Personally, I fall into the
second category. I believe that
words cannot be grounds for
harassment or victimization.
f
'f
Words are not actions. It
seems though that there is a
prevalent conception on
our campus that words are
actions and the wrono
e
usage can get you in trouble if
you cross the boundary of
established usage and
"correctness." There me some
who would disagree with me
and tell me that limitless
boundmies I am invokino
e
would allow for such thinos ac;
e
sexism and racism to rear it's
ugly head in the things we read
and the things we say. Indeed,
this is the case, but such a
perspective also allows for any
type of discourse : feminist.
nationalistic. religious, etc ...
So, the next time I hear
someone lamenting th~ '&ct
that there are words used on
campus that they don't like
maybe what the probl~m '
really is that they don· t talk or
'-1· 11 1•· lif<.e you do. Words may
hml • •11 1 ego, but they sure as
hell don't kill us . .
ll
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Right which he represents. Get pa~
the "yeah, but he's GOD!" reactio1
because that doesn't cut butter. 11
right is right, and the very Bastion
o'Rightness defies this, then there
is indeed some relativity at work here.
Right is only right when a s~bj~ctive
rlecision is made by an ommsc1ent power.
Stiii with me? Good. If you're not,
read it again, and if you're still not,
dismiss me as a blithering idiot and
eat your goddam food.
If subjectivity exists even in the
most morally pure of atmospheres, then
it certainly exists in heaven, and
by logue, tom
this in tum means that even there,
moral truths will still be debated.
This article will only make sense if
On the bright side, this allows for
certain things are taken for granted,
endless and unrestricted learning,
so play along:
but i for one do not want to hear
-God exists (this i prove with the
"what about in cases of rape or incest?"
following equation:
.
.
for the rest of my afterlife.
when x=2, 3x+ 1[bag oreos]=mfimty;
And that, gentle readers, is why
when 3x+ l=infinity where x=2, things heaven may not be so groovy, unless
are indeed screwed up enough to allow you're willing to accept
for an omniscient, omnipresent, all"it all depends"
powerful deity, assuming one twists
as the Ultimate Answer.
one's oreos -- please feel free to
plug in your own justification for
god's existence, though)
-The bible is right (like i said,
play along)
-Heaven is eternal bliss and peace
among all men and women, or at
least their souls, just like you
learned in sunday school
Okay, enough assuming. Assumptions 1
and 3 would allow for a spiritual
beyond in which relations among human
souls are preserved. The discrepancy
occurs in #3, that everyone is going
to get along. Presumably, this is
because we will all finally know what
is right (in the biggest sense of the
MAYBE SOMEDAY
word) and the little arguments over
MY BRISTLES.WILL BE
abortion, homosexuality, free will vs
determinism, and whether OJ was
really guilty (he wasn't) will no
longer matter. This in itself_is all .
fine and good until assumpt10n 2 is
considered. God gave moses the 10
commandments as a moral code, a set
of what is right and what is wrong for
all to see. This was not "How to Get
to Heaven" by god (since there was no
heaven to consider), but the ultimate
moral ground upon which to make all .
decisions and base all actio~s.
1 ~ . • '<
Yet, god defies the very Ultimate. ·.' , (~ - 1• . .
~
AS GOOD AS PROLON
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Ahhhhhhhhh
-Xaft Minor
Logjam rattrap yellow
Embedded utopia blank
Torid torpid torreadors
Weasel vortex sham
Dazzle wither streetpark
Starkly lit into
' .,
Raspy ranting boulders
l
-• Pogo pebble tease
k''·''
Kansas teller wispy
Dryness over retort
. . Wishes washing wanton
~~~:.:~rt;.;, Stark Jugglmg crazy
·
...
Purple violet desultory
'%:' lii'< Ration razor ringing
ii":
"1~~:t1; ~ Foolproof routing now
't:~4',r;:j Lacky raising open
·,:1::~ Ideal frozen fre1ze
.
· -~~!1 Cattle crushing details
.\ Quarters wrapping knee
Upset grounded fellow
Lost growing ease
Dizzy yonder glasses
Flowing frenzy please
~-'""~···,-.: ........; .. 1. j,':'~
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hy s la) .1 0 1·1a ll
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Implicate me
Bind me
Isolate me
then ignore me.
Surround me
Play me
Use me
then lose me.
�-~
l .olision on Biacktop
by ... uh ... oh yeah, Jay Witherspoon
I . . . OAMMlr!
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE 10 GET AWAY FROM MYSELF.
YESTERDAY, I RAN
AROUND A CORNER AS FAST AS I COULD TO TRY TO LOSE MYSELF, BUT APPARENTLY
A VE:RY FAST RUNNER BECAUSE THE SECOND
I
I
AM
STOF"PED AND TURNED AROUND TO SEE IF
I HAD GOlTEN AWAY FROM MYSELF, THERE I WAS . . . TURNING AROUND LOOKING F'OFl
MYSELF!
"fHEN
I
TRIED SOMETHING SNEAKIER.
I
BEGAN WALKING DOWN THE STREET
VERY DELIBERATELY, FORCING MYSELF TO THINK OF NOTHING BUT MY NEXT STEP, AND
THE NEXT AND THE NEXT, A.ND . . .
CONCRETE .
AND WHEN
I
'TRIP TR.ll.P TRIP TRAP, ' SAID MY FEET ON THE SHARF'
WAS SURE THAT I WAS THINKING OF NOTHING ELSE THAN THE
'TRIP TRAP TRIP TRAP ' OF MY FOOTSTEPS,
I
DARTED TO THE SIDE AND SPUN AROUND,
EXPECTING TO SEE MYSELF TRIP TRAP TRIPPING RIGHT ALONG, UNAWARE THAT
REALLY JUMPED OFF COURSE .
I
HAD
BUT, AS YOU MAY HAVE GUESSED, THERE I WAS,
STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, LOOKING FOR MYSELF.
But instead of myself, all I found was a light
green pick-up truck with rusty patches along the edge of
the hood. It was heading straight toward me. The
street was wet. The brakes were bad. Physics (and the
world physics makes love to) dictated that the truck
would slide across the wet road, heedless of the
personal, social, or economic repercussions that would
follow a collision with my frail body. The sound of
tires sliding on wet blacktop . . . what had I been
thinking about?
Then the music came. Blaring into the dull sky. A groove funky
sprung out of my chest, bounded off buildings, and spiralled into space.
Melodies wound and spun, wrapping their magic around a beat so
straight and. simple: trip trap trip trap. 'lhe tapestry of get down weaved
dull time into music. trip trap trip trap ... SMACK!!!!! I shook my head
and smiled loudly as I found myself and realized I had walked directly
into a wall.
nikhail Gorbachev
from the nefarious mind of the Super Cherry Master ..
/
WHAT IF?
What if an apparition of Richard Halliburton
appeared
at
your
door
and
slooooooooowly whispered in your left
ear, "I'm a monkey junky," and then
sloooooooowly whispered in your right
ear, "They make me feel funky," and then>·-</5:.'· .~ .~t\.
. .
suddenly shouted in your face, "AND YOU~ .':··< '.~1~} 1
SMELL KINDA SPUNKY ! ! " and then jumped ·~.>A.:··
out your window neuer to be seen again?
I~ id1r1 nl
I loll i/Ju r/r111
(<JY\Ap fi'rd' vt~
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at tJEe-ro BEEF urJ/
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Type
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Newspaper
Title
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The Rat's Ass, October 27, 1995, Volume 04, Issue 11
Subject
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Newspapers, Publications, Satires, Zines, 1995 Fall
Description
An account of the resource
This issue of The Rat's ass dates from October 27, 1995. This was the Halloween issue for the Rat's Ass. The front page had Chris Brown discussing 'Word Usage.' Tom Logue tells us why Heaven may not be as good as we think. Also Xaft Minor screams. On the last page Jhay Winterspoon stutterers as he tries to speak about the Blacktop.
Creator
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Chris Brown, Tom Logue, Xaft Minor, Stay Joviall, Jhay Witherspoon
Source
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Dlynx
Publisher
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Memphis, Tenn. : Rhodes College Archives and Special Collections
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Rhodes College owns the rights to the archival digital objects in this collection. Objects are made available for educational use only and may not be used for any non-educational or commercial purpose. Approved educational uses include private research and scholarship, teaching, and student projects. For additional information please contact archives@rhodes.edu. Fees may apply.
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PDF
The Rat's Ass